Should you get your situationship a Valentine's day gift?

If Valentine’s Day is bringing feelings of impending doom, just know you’re not the only one. It’s normal to spend the day of love, or the time leading up to it, taking score of your love life. Given that situationships come with a lack of, or dare we say, avoidance of commitment, you may not know how to navigate the holiday with your noncommittal lover. Because of this, you might be asking yourself: “Should I get my situationship a Valentine’s Day gift?”

Here’s the hard truth of situationships: they’re not your partner. We know the late-night snack runs and cuddles after sex might convince you otherwise. After all, the staple sign of a relationship is that they desire you romantically. The mere existence of your situationship signals that they’re most likely terrified of commitment with you. So, gifting them a sentimental present on the day of love might send them into orbit. If you want to get ghosted, gifting on the day of love is a great way to do so.

Alternatively, you might be of the belief that all relationships—familial, platonic, or romantic—deserve intention, care, and love in the form of gift giving. If so, you may identify as a relationship anarchist. As contributor BlakSyn wrote for the Feeld dating app, “Relationship anarchy is the practice of doing away with some (and sometimes all) of the traditional sociocultural ‘rules’ or formalities usually applied to romantic relationships.” For example, some non-monogamous lovers that subscribe to relationship anarchy don’t believe in hierarchies. This means that their friends might hold equal importance as their lovers, and vice versa. If this is you, follow your heart and head to the mall to start shopping.

There’s an art form to gift giving, though, especially when you don’t want to come on too strong. Here are some ideas that are less likely to send your situationship running for the hills. A $20 budget is golden.

Some would suggest buying a bouquet of flowers and calling it a day, but unless your lover is obsessed with florals, this might not land. If that’s the case, opt for a fashion-forward gift that screams “them.”

Think: a T-shirt or mug that has their favorite meme or a cheeky slogan on it.

Alternatively, you can take them out for a drink and light bites, and go back home to enjoy what you both enjoy most: intimacy behind closed doors. Or, perhaps a label maker?

The bottom line is, if you’re in a situationship, you’re single. With that in mind, ask yourself if the situation is worth the stress of finding the perfect gift that shows you listen to them. If it’s not worth it, plan a day for yourself because there’s nothing worse than spending time with someone who could care less, on the day of love. Take yourself out for dinner or plan a Galentine’s Day adventure with your friends — because you don’t have to invest into a situation that you’re not confident in.